Writing fears and anxieties…
All right, I’m gonna be super real and honest here. And kinda break the rules, I suppose. I’m not going to delve into all of my fears and anxieties. Not going to make a bulleted list of them and lay them all out. I’m not going to give them voice, right now.
Why? Because I live with them everyday. They batter at my skull, whispering and shouting, in turn, all the reasons I can’t do this. How I can’t be successful doing what I love, that I should just give it up. I’m not good enough, successful enough, just not enough. It’s also hard to put into words, sometimes, what specifically I’m anxious about, what I fear – and as a writer, not being able to put something into words is a whole other level of frustration and madness.
I will say that I do have fears and anxieties. Big time. That they fuel my depression and overall anxiety, sometimes, to the point it’s paralyzing. Dealing with them is a daily freaking battle. But, so far, it’s a battle I’m winning. And will continue to win, day by day by day by day by… Well, you get the idea. Despite the fears and anxieties, despite how big and loud they get, I’m confident I’ll come out on top. Not really going to accept any other outcome, and I may be a wee bit stubborn. Between that, the work I’ve already done straightening my head out, and pretty much have the best support system a girl could ask for…I’ve got all the tools I need to keep doing this..